Okay so let’s start with a little back story! After the Dallas, TX fall show, the TX/Oklahoma fans discussed many, many prop ideas for the next tour. Of course, we came up with some tear inducing, clever shit including one day Jenni and I talking on the phone and me boldly predicting "I’m going to wear a celtic green cowboy hat with a bedazzled B on it." Oh and there were many, many other things, between the Dallas Crew, Houston Crew and Oklahoma Girls, we could have kept the guys entertained for at least a month straight if not more. Leave it to Jenni, to make the hats happen, I talk a big game sometimes, but don’t have the mental capacity or patience to make the time to put it all together. LOL I also say things like “if Jordan and Joe yell out “BLOW JOB” and “SWALLOWS” I’m going to yell out “CUZ A LADY NEVER SPITS.” Ladies and gentleman... Here’s your sign. If you know me, you know I am loud, sometimes obnoxious and I absolutely ACT OUT and don’t really care what anyone thinks. You’ll learn this later.
Fast forward to weeks leading up to Hidalgo, and Houston girls put together a handful of clever signs, a big huge sheet sign especially for Donnie, and Jenni pulled all the cowboy hats and bedazzled B’s together. She couldn’t find Celtic green, but the ones we had were still ROCKIN, and we had a few girls who went with red also. Melissa got some TX flag boxer shorts for THA MAN, and had her shirt made that put him ON NOTICE! Donnie blogged from Europe at the end of that tour, and ended it with “OWWWWWWW” and of course I latched onto that like a kid in a candy store, adopting that as my mating call for Donnie! LMAO. Delirious much? Hell YES but who cares? That became the “howl” of the weekend.
Road Trip:
We headed to San Antonio, picked up Kristie (TX CHICK) and headed for the border. “YO QUIERO DONNIE WAHLBERG” and we were off! The road trip consisted of lots of giggles, BEER, zingers, singing old school songs/raps, of course me “OWWWWW-ing” at random times (at one point I startled Kristie and Cayden, they almost jumped out the window). We got pulled over by a State Trooper during our little adventure, maybe 3 hours outside of McAllen for speeding. He asked us if we were on a girl’s weekend out. “Yes Sir” he asked us where we were going “Hidalgo Sir” he asked with a dumbfounded look on his face and WTF? tone in his voice “What are you going there for” *sinckers, giggles, snorts* we answer “TO SEE THE NKOTB CONCERT” he takes a step back, hangs his head in shame and of course laughs his ass off, walks back up to the car and says “I’m going to let you off with a warning” SCORE! Donnie, you’ve done it again! Lol “Annnnd GO”...we’re off to Hidalgo. We get there, hang out with the Houston Crew at their hotel for a while, get kicked out for being too loud, and head to our hotel for the night. Between, our group, and Houston's group... we became the Texas 10 and took Hidalgo by storm! Hey Donnie told us to bring it *shrugs* so we cannot let that man down right? Right!
Day 2 – CONCERT DAY!
We wake up feeling pretty “dehydrated”...yeah, we’ll go with that. Breakfast, shopping, showers...”ANNND GO”...Off to Borderfest. We round the corner to see Dodge Arena, and what do you know... MY IMAGINATION DOES NOT LET ME DOWN. That place besides the 2 parallel roads to get there, was surrounded by nothing but dirt, field, and dirt roads, etc. NOT A DONKEY IN SIGHT to our disappointment, but we almost caused a horse stampede. *cue mating call* “OWWWWWWWWWWWW.” Trying to get parked in that place was like trying to wipe your ass with dental floss. NIGHTMARE. So we do what any other uncivilized, crazy Dallas,TX girls would do... Amanda jumps on a dirt road in a long 2 mile or so dirt field, and speed races to get across to the arena. I was giddy, we were laughing our asses off, Kristie was doing the sign of the cross, I imagined us being the dukes of hazard, *cue the theme song* HOT CHICK STYLE, and that Boss Hog was going to be chasing us in his police mobile any minute. It was something out of a bad action comedy. We come off the dirt road, about 30 feet beyond the check point we SHOULD have gone through where you pay to park, we creeped off that dirt road sneaking by the attendant like we were on “mute” he didn’t even notice, then in DONUT fashion, LAND in our parking spot by a group of horses! We couldn’t have staged that if we tried, I only wished I got it on video. PRICELESS. We were in TEARS. Take THAT Donnie Walhberg and Company!
We were sent confirmation from ILAA that we’d get into Borderfest for free considering we paid VIP, which turned out to NOT be the case. And there-in lies the first of the rest of the ILAA nightmare. So we do what any abnormal, red blooded, crazy NKOTB fans would do... we stalk the buses. After flirting with a guy on a four wheeler, and standing out there for about 20 minutes, Jordan Knight comes out filming us. There were about 15 fans or so standing there. He stayed on the other side of the gate, came by, shook hands asked us if we were from Hidalgo 14 fans... “NOOO” one fan... “YEEESSS!” (I wonder who said yes). Lol Let me tell you that when he walked up, I had heart palpitations, the feelings of my very first crush (OF COURSE ON JORDAN KNIGHT) slapped me harder than any mushroom stamp ever could. I was SMITTEN, and he was HOT, with a little facial scruff going. And with the wild mental capacity that Crystasha (me) has, all I could think of was that I left my damn twix bar at the hotel. WTF? I’d like to share one with him, AHHH, maybe one day. *fantasizes and grins* No lie folks, that is my favorite candy bar in the whole wide world and has been since I could eat solid foods. When I saw the video of him pulling it out last fall during the tour, I wanted to eat it, never mind that HOT ASS Jordan Knight was waving it around, acting a hot mess during “Twisted”. NO...I eye balled that twix bar in his hand, like a dog eye balls a bone as you wave it around trying to get him to “sit” Yes people I have to live with this mind!
ANYWAY...
He was very gracious and awesome for coming out to say hi, we all drooled over how hot he is as we went to meet the Houston girls for lunch. We enter the restaurant *cue Crystal* “OWWWWWWWWWW” I think the cook in the back jumped out of his skin, I scared him so bad. WHOOPS! After lunch we head back to the hotel have a few beers, and start getting ready for the M&G. ANNNNND GO! On to the M&G *cue* “OWWWWWW” (this OWWW-ing) went on all weekend. DAMN DONNIE!
We get to the Dodge Arena at 5 like our email said to. We get raped, assaulted, battered, bruised, and violated by 55mph wind gusts as we proceed to wait in line outside for an hour and a half. Crystasha was NOT happy about how ILAA handled Hidalgo. I’m not one for complaining so I made the most of it. But we get checked in “OWWWWWWW” this happened in many Dodge Arena staff’s faces! They were amused. We get upstairs into a room about as big as my effin foot and they are already calling L, M... we are letter P. WTF? It was literally an effin CATTLE CALL. *cue* “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” I tell you the whole M&G in Hidalgo was a nightmare, except for the time behind the curtain. Also, in Hidalgo and from what I’ve read since, the time behind the curtain is going by WAY faster than the previous tour. Just an FYI.
Our letter is called we get in line, walk behind the curtain *cue Crystasha* “OWWWWW” Jon looked a little scared “wow, and how much have you all had to drink?" No Jon... this is US, it's who we are.... BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID, you'll get an ab workout for the reacord books!
We all scatter to the guys to get hugs. Donnie points at Kristie and says “YOU, I want that hat” Apparently being like myself, Donnie has a thing for bright and shiny objects. Sometimes I wish they would all bedazzle the crotch area of their pants, but that’s a little much I know... I’m a little blurry on the details of the rest of this conversation regarding the hat, because I was too busy tackling Jordan Knight. Oh yes I did! He was standing alone, I spot him, RUN towards him yelling “I’LL HUG YOU” and basically jumped into his arms sort of causing him to lose his balance a little. Poor guy. He was like “whoa!” Yes Jordan, “whoa” is right, this is one crazy Mexican you’re dealing with here. ( I do heart that man though, DAMN he’s effin F-I-N-E. We Latin girls LOVE US some Jordan Knight - orale!). I also hug Danny and tell him to put his back into it and give me a big bear hug. He repeated me twice "put my back into it? put my back into it? You don't want to know what it really means for me to put my back into it" Well Danny Boy, I saw you bent over on stage, I DO KNOW, next time, you can give me a private demonstration, I don't bite...HARD.
So now it’s “picture time” we all scramble to get somewhere and as we quiet down for the pose “BLOW JOB!” Yes, you guessed it, Crystasha yelled it out. Danny looks at me “NICE ONE” Jenni doubles over in laughter and says “I forgot what I was supposed to say” Joe tells her “you’re supposed to say Swallows” So again, second picture...”ANAL!...HAHAHA, gotcha” Yes people, this would be my male counterpart- Joe of course, yelling out before Jenni had the chance. Again, the poor girl was doubled over practically in tears. You gotta love that Joe Mac! He is an effin riot, I only hope that I can hang out with him for more than 2.5 seconds one day, WE would be a hot mess, like I said, he is in fact, the male version of Crystasha! And if I ever get a chance to take a pic with them again, in a M&G, I want a MacKnight sandwich. Maybe we can do a "prom" pose "threesome" style. “Yes Joe and Jordan, I’m coming for YOU!”
So the pictures are done, we start getting ushered out, I walk up to Donnie as Melissa is giving him the boxer shorts that he told her he would wear. Her and Jenni walk off, I look at THA MAN... and tell him this was my second M&G but I’ve yet to give him a proper hug, of course I was talking to my self, because he just stared at me. Mesmerized by my latin beauty I presume...
We hug, I go to walk off, and he grabs my face pulls me towards him and SMOOOOOCH! I probably looked like I had some sort of mouth impairment, I was completely caught off guard. I think I kissed the air, and maybe tongued it a little. Although I absolutely loved that he felt compelled to lock lips with me, I was secretly hoping Jordan Knight did not witness that. Too bad I didn’t have my Twix bar to toss over to occupy him. DONNIE EFFIN WAHLBERG! Warn a girl next time, so I can slip you some tongue!
So on to the show, some of us bought tickets later than the rest, so we did not end up in Second row. However, we MADE it happen. 20 of us crammed into a 10 seat row. GOTTA LOVE IT! This was of course, after Houston Jenn and I sweet talked the security guy! Hehehe Houston had some MAD signs going
A big sheet saying “DONNIE GET NAKED”
JOE: HOW BIG ARE YOU
LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST
CUM PARTY WITH THE BEST
DANNY’S GOT WOOD
And of course.... drum roll please...LADIES NEVER SPIT
We started getting brave with the signs right about when Donnie came on for Cover Girl. Of course he sought out THE RED BEDAZZLED COWBOY HAT! Put it on...then draped the "Donnie Get Naked" sheet on himself for a minute before he tossed it. Of course the finale to Cover Girl is Donnie pelvic thrusting with his back turned to the crowd and pulling down his pants to reveal his white pants underneath... BUT WAIT... he pulls down the white pants to reveal none other than the TEXAS FLAG boxers! SCORE, MELISSA! We would proceed to get brave with the signs and it was greatness to see them doing their thing and then one by one, crumbling under the pressure that was... OUR SIGNS. Laughing, pointing, interacting, etc. Joe answered Whitney when she held up “JOE HOW BIG ARE YOU” his answer with his arms held high and WIDE mouthing “Huge...HUGE” EFFIN JOE, we love the shit out of you! Even the Jabbawockeez (who were BRILLIANT by the way), were pointing and laughing since they could read the signs from the side of the stage where they sat to watch the show. We were in fact, true to our roots and what you can really call ONE BIG HOT MESS! Even poor Jon after giggling during songs the first few times, had to concentrate on NOT LOOKING DOWN at us. LOVE YA JON! I gotta say if you can get signs into the venue, the guys LOVE THEM. The more bold and clever they are the better. I’ll end with the fact that this couldn’t have been a better DIRTY 30 Birthday weekend, spent with an awesome group of girls. We ended concert night with the Houston crew at their hotel, paying the bartender to shut the place down so we could sit in the bar area and drink out of our coolers, some of us chugging whisky straight from the bottle with Charro’s band! AYE, AYE, AYE, AYEEEEEE! Of course there were plenty of haters before, during and after the concert (I guess cuz we cut their bar time short, LOL), but all in all, we ROCKED OUT with our “BLOCK” out. Come get ya some next time Wahlberg and Company, we do not disappoint. To my TEXAS 10 girls, LOVE YA, and we can’t wait until next time... LET’S GET THIS? NO SIRS....WE RUN THIS!
Fast forward to weeks leading up to Hidalgo, and Houston girls put together a handful of clever signs, a big huge sheet sign especially for Donnie, and Jenni pulled all the cowboy hats and bedazzled B’s together. She couldn’t find Celtic green, but the ones we had were still ROCKIN, and we had a few girls who went with red also. Melissa got some TX flag boxer shorts for THA MAN, and had her shirt made that put him ON NOTICE! Donnie blogged from Europe at the end of that tour, and ended it with “OWWWWWWW” and of course I latched onto that like a kid in a candy store, adopting that as my mating call for Donnie! LMAO. Delirious much? Hell YES but who cares? That became the “howl” of the weekend.
Road Trip:
We headed to San Antonio, picked up Kristie (TX CHICK) and headed for the border. “YO QUIERO DONNIE WAHLBERG” and we were off! The road trip consisted of lots of giggles, BEER, zingers, singing old school songs/raps, of course me “OWWWWW-ing” at random times (at one point I startled Kristie and Cayden, they almost jumped out the window). We got pulled over by a State Trooper during our little adventure, maybe 3 hours outside of McAllen for speeding. He asked us if we were on a girl’s weekend out. “Yes Sir” he asked us where we were going “Hidalgo Sir” he asked with a dumbfounded look on his face and WTF? tone in his voice “What are you going there for” *sinckers, giggles, snorts* we answer “TO SEE THE NKOTB CONCERT” he takes a step back, hangs his head in shame and of course laughs his ass off, walks back up to the car and says “I’m going to let you off with a warning” SCORE! Donnie, you’ve done it again! Lol “Annnnd GO”...we’re off to Hidalgo. We get there, hang out with the Houston Crew at their hotel for a while, get kicked out for being too loud, and head to our hotel for the night. Between, our group, and Houston's group... we became the Texas 10 and took Hidalgo by storm! Hey Donnie told us to bring it *shrugs* so we cannot let that man down right? Right!
Day 2 – CONCERT DAY!
We wake up feeling pretty “dehydrated”...yeah, we’ll go with that. Breakfast, shopping, showers...”ANNND GO”...Off to Borderfest. We round the corner to see Dodge Arena, and what do you know... MY IMAGINATION DOES NOT LET ME DOWN. That place besides the 2 parallel roads to get there, was surrounded by nothing but dirt, field, and dirt roads, etc. NOT A DONKEY IN SIGHT to our disappointment, but we almost caused a horse stampede. *cue mating call* “OWWWWWWWWWWWW.” Trying to get parked in that place was like trying to wipe your ass with dental floss. NIGHTMARE. So we do what any other uncivilized, crazy Dallas,TX girls would do... Amanda jumps on a dirt road in a long 2 mile or so dirt field, and speed races to get across to the arena. I was giddy, we were laughing our asses off, Kristie was doing the sign of the cross, I imagined us being the dukes of hazard, *cue the theme song* HOT CHICK STYLE, and that Boss Hog was going to be chasing us in his police mobile any minute. It was something out of a bad action comedy. We come off the dirt road, about 30 feet beyond the check point we SHOULD have gone through where you pay to park, we creeped off that dirt road sneaking by the attendant like we were on “mute” he didn’t even notice, then in DONUT fashion, LAND in our parking spot by a group of horses! We couldn’t have staged that if we tried, I only wished I got it on video. PRICELESS. We were in TEARS. Take THAT Donnie Walhberg and Company!
We were sent confirmation from ILAA that we’d get into Borderfest for free considering we paid VIP, which turned out to NOT be the case. And there-in lies the first of the rest of the ILAA nightmare. So we do what any abnormal, red blooded, crazy NKOTB fans would do... we stalk the buses. After flirting with a guy on a four wheeler, and standing out there for about 20 minutes, Jordan Knight comes out filming us. There were about 15 fans or so standing there. He stayed on the other side of the gate, came by, shook hands asked us if we were from Hidalgo 14 fans... “NOOO” one fan... “YEEESSS!” (I wonder who said yes). Lol Let me tell you that when he walked up, I had heart palpitations, the feelings of my very first crush (OF COURSE ON JORDAN KNIGHT) slapped me harder than any mushroom stamp ever could. I was SMITTEN, and he was HOT, with a little facial scruff going. And with the wild mental capacity that Crystasha (me) has, all I could think of was that I left my damn twix bar at the hotel. WTF? I’d like to share one with him, AHHH, maybe one day. *fantasizes and grins* No lie folks, that is my favorite candy bar in the whole wide world and has been since I could eat solid foods. When I saw the video of him pulling it out last fall during the tour, I wanted to eat it, never mind that HOT ASS Jordan Knight was waving it around, acting a hot mess during “Twisted”. NO...I eye balled that twix bar in his hand, like a dog eye balls a bone as you wave it around trying to get him to “sit” Yes people I have to live with this mind!
ANYWAY...
He was very gracious and awesome for coming out to say hi, we all drooled over how hot he is as we went to meet the Houston girls for lunch. We enter the restaurant *cue Crystal* “OWWWWWWWWWW” I think the cook in the back jumped out of his skin, I scared him so bad. WHOOPS! After lunch we head back to the hotel have a few beers, and start getting ready for the M&G. ANNNNND GO! On to the M&G *cue* “OWWWWWW” (this OWWW-ing) went on all weekend. DAMN DONNIE!
We get to the Dodge Arena at 5 like our email said to. We get raped, assaulted, battered, bruised, and violated by 55mph wind gusts as we proceed to wait in line outside for an hour and a half. Crystasha was NOT happy about how ILAA handled Hidalgo. I’m not one for complaining so I made the most of it. But we get checked in “OWWWWWWW” this happened in many Dodge Arena staff’s faces! They were amused. We get upstairs into a room about as big as my effin foot and they are already calling L, M... we are letter P. WTF? It was literally an effin CATTLE CALL. *cue* “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” I tell you the whole M&G in Hidalgo was a nightmare, except for the time behind the curtain. Also, in Hidalgo and from what I’ve read since, the time behind the curtain is going by WAY faster than the previous tour. Just an FYI.
Our letter is called we get in line, walk behind the curtain *cue Crystasha* “OWWWWW” Jon looked a little scared “wow, and how much have you all had to drink?" No Jon... this is US, it's who we are.... BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID, you'll get an ab workout for the reacord books!
We all scatter to the guys to get hugs. Donnie points at Kristie and says “YOU, I want that hat” Apparently being like myself, Donnie has a thing for bright and shiny objects. Sometimes I wish they would all bedazzle the crotch area of their pants, but that’s a little much I know... I’m a little blurry on the details of the rest of this conversation regarding the hat, because I was too busy tackling Jordan Knight. Oh yes I did! He was standing alone, I spot him, RUN towards him yelling “I’LL HUG YOU” and basically jumped into his arms sort of causing him to lose his balance a little. Poor guy. He was like “whoa!” Yes Jordan, “whoa” is right, this is one crazy Mexican you’re dealing with here. ( I do heart that man though, DAMN he’s effin F-I-N-E. We Latin girls LOVE US some Jordan Knight - orale!). I also hug Danny and tell him to put his back into it and give me a big bear hug. He repeated me twice "put my back into it? put my back into it? You don't want to know what it really means for me to put my back into it" Well Danny Boy, I saw you bent over on stage, I DO KNOW, next time, you can give me a private demonstration, I don't bite...HARD.
So now it’s “picture time” we all scramble to get somewhere and as we quiet down for the pose “BLOW JOB!” Yes, you guessed it, Crystasha yelled it out. Danny looks at me “NICE ONE” Jenni doubles over in laughter and says “I forgot what I was supposed to say” Joe tells her “you’re supposed to say Swallows” So again, second picture...”ANAL!...HAHAHA, gotcha” Yes people, this would be my male counterpart- Joe of course, yelling out before Jenni had the chance. Again, the poor girl was doubled over practically in tears. You gotta love that Joe Mac! He is an effin riot, I only hope that I can hang out with him for more than 2.5 seconds one day, WE would be a hot mess, like I said, he is in fact, the male version of Crystasha! And if I ever get a chance to take a pic with them again, in a M&G, I want a MacKnight sandwich. Maybe we can do a "prom" pose "threesome" style. “Yes Joe and Jordan, I’m coming for YOU!”
So the pictures are done, we start getting ushered out, I walk up to Donnie as Melissa is giving him the boxer shorts that he told her he would wear. Her and Jenni walk off, I look at THA MAN... and tell him this was my second M&G but I’ve yet to give him a proper hug, of course I was talking to my self, because he just stared at me. Mesmerized by my latin beauty I presume...
We hug, I go to walk off, and he grabs my face pulls me towards him and SMOOOOOCH! I probably looked like I had some sort of mouth impairment, I was completely caught off guard. I think I kissed the air, and maybe tongued it a little. Although I absolutely loved that he felt compelled to lock lips with me, I was secretly hoping Jordan Knight did not witness that. Too bad I didn’t have my Twix bar to toss over to occupy him. DONNIE EFFIN WAHLBERG! Warn a girl next time, so I can slip you some tongue!
So on to the show, some of us bought tickets later than the rest, so we did not end up in Second row. However, we MADE it happen. 20 of us crammed into a 10 seat row. GOTTA LOVE IT! This was of course, after Houston Jenn and I sweet talked the security guy! Hehehe Houston had some MAD signs going
A big sheet saying “DONNIE GET NAKED”
JOE: HOW BIG ARE YOU
LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST
CUM PARTY WITH THE BEST
DANNY’S GOT WOOD
And of course.... drum roll please...LADIES NEVER SPIT
We started getting brave with the signs right about when Donnie came on for Cover Girl. Of course he sought out THE RED BEDAZZLED COWBOY HAT! Put it on...then draped the "Donnie Get Naked" sheet on himself for a minute before he tossed it. Of course the finale to Cover Girl is Donnie pelvic thrusting with his back turned to the crowd and pulling down his pants to reveal his white pants underneath... BUT WAIT... he pulls down the white pants to reveal none other than the TEXAS FLAG boxers! SCORE, MELISSA! We would proceed to get brave with the signs and it was greatness to see them doing their thing and then one by one, crumbling under the pressure that was... OUR SIGNS. Laughing, pointing, interacting, etc. Joe answered Whitney when she held up “JOE HOW BIG ARE YOU” his answer with his arms held high and WIDE mouthing “Huge...HUGE” EFFIN JOE, we love the shit out of you! Even the Jabbawockeez (who were BRILLIANT by the way), were pointing and laughing since they could read the signs from the side of the stage where they sat to watch the show. We were in fact, true to our roots and what you can really call ONE BIG HOT MESS! Even poor Jon after giggling during songs the first few times, had to concentrate on NOT LOOKING DOWN at us. LOVE YA JON! I gotta say if you can get signs into the venue, the guys LOVE THEM. The more bold and clever they are the better. I’ll end with the fact that this couldn’t have been a better DIRTY 30 Birthday weekend, spent with an awesome group of girls. We ended concert night with the Houston crew at their hotel, paying the bartender to shut the place down so we could sit in the bar area and drink out of our coolers, some of us chugging whisky straight from the bottle with Charro’s band! AYE, AYE, AYE, AYEEEEEE! Of course there were plenty of haters before, during and after the concert (I guess cuz we cut their bar time short, LOL), but all in all, we ROCKED OUT with our “BLOCK” out. Come get ya some next time Wahlberg and Company, we do not disappoint. To my TEXAS 10 girls, LOVE YA, and we can’t wait until next time... LET’S GET THIS? NO SIRS....WE RUN THIS!
Here is the Dallas/San Antonio Group. We will get a pic of the Houston group posted soon.
L-R - Kristi, Cryst-asha (Me), Cayden, Jenni, Amanda
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Perfect Crystal! I freakin' love it! Now I feel in the loop.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
ReplyDeleteAwesome!! I still can't believed you tackled poor Jordan! One day we will both not be total dorks around that man.
ReplyDelete